Category: News

Today’s Special

“Our menu got hacked. Soup of the day is Senate Bean, not borscht.”


Groundhog Headquarters

"Wrong! Early Spring."
“Winter, you’re fired! In six weeks I’m hiring spring.” 


Wait,What?

"To keep grizzly bears out of the classrooms... Fine by me, I hated calculus."
“Grizzly bears can determine school gun laws? Get to the part about school lunch laws.”


Bee Afraid

"It's official, bumbleebees are now on the official endangered species list... Just like mainstream journalism."
“Bumblebees are now on the official endangered species list… Just like journalism.”


Bird Watchers

"Iconic bald eagle worries Twitter Bird will replace him."
“Iconic bald eagle frets that Twitter Bird may replace him.”


Together With Florida

"Thankfully I'm an alligator kept in a NYC's apartment."
“I may be an alligator kept in a NYC apartment- But I’m overwhelmed with worry for my Florida family.”


Vote-a-Rama

"Well, that was a fun 90 minutes. Two more episodes to go - like on NetFlix."
“Well, that was a fun 90 minutes.Two more episodes to go.”


Monday Night Live

"We could have a debate party. Lot's of popcorn and crying towels."
“We could have a debate party – With lots of popcorn and crying towels.”


All Jacked Up

"Big Pharm convinced parents their high energy kids need meds, they hiked generic drug prices and now EpiPen...
“ADHD prescriptions have doubled. Big Pharma also hiked generic drug prices and now EpiPen… Talk about adverse reactions.”