Oct 30

"You're from the Milky Way and never had a Milky Way...Really?"

” You’re from the Milky Way and never had a Milky Way?  You kids better not leave any crop circles on my lawn!”

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It’s a Chick Thing

Oct 29

"When you say it tastes like chicken... You scare me."

“Stop saying it tastes like chicken.”

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Please Join Us

Oct 27

"I'm an RSVPer... I don't do Evite reminders."

“I’m an RSVPer… I don’t do Evite reminders.”

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Best Places to Retire?

Oct 22

"Venus is too hot, Jupiter's too gassy - and Earth is too crazy."

“Venus is too hot, Jupiter’s gassy, and Earth is too crazy.”

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Downward Dogged

Oct 19

"This dog treat entitles me to ten minutes of drool free yoga."

“This dog treat entitles me to 15 minutes of drool-free yoga.”

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Airport Screen Test

Oct 17

"They told me I didn't have a temperature and I'm not ovulating."

They told me I didn’t have a temperature and I’m not ovulating.”

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Oct 16

"Clipboard guy in a sea of hazmat suits... Really?"

“Clipboard guy with guys in hazmat suits; One of these things is not like the other.”

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