Hoppin’ Old School

Apr 18

"Egg whites only, no peanuts, milk free chocolate....  What happened to three Peeps and two Cadbury Eggs?"

“Peeps, Cadbury Creme Eggs, Jelly Beans…  I don’t do organic dark chocolate with sea salt.”



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Housewives Try-Outs

Apr 16

"The botox, the bitching, the trying to look like we're 30 - yeah, we got it all going on."

“We’ve got Botox Bitchin’ Bourgeois #BravoTV lives.”

 



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Sandal Ready?

Apr 15

"a)Menopausal Mauve b)Seeing Red c)Rough Heels Honey d)Frostin' You e)Hot Pink Flash f)Leave Me Alone Blue

“a)Menopausal Mauve b)Seeing Red  c)Rough Heels Honey  d)Shut The Frost Up  e)Leave Me Abalone f)Sequin Sweat.”



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Executive Bonus

Apr 14

"CEO pay is 231 times the average worker... By the time they meet with me, it's all worthless."

“CEO pay is 273 times the average worker; When they finally meet me I’m like, Dude I don’t care.”



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Vino-Over It

Apr 12

"Another drink wine and paint pictures? Nope."

“Are we tired of Wine & Paint nights?”



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On The Table

Apr 11

"Let's try this - You have to adopt a puppy if you want to work here."

“Amazon will pay you to quit?  I’ll hire you to adopt a pet.”



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Take A Letter

Apr 10

"When online Scrabble takes over your life."

“Words With Family.”



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