Run For The Bathroom

Sep 03

"taco bell just introduced fried chicken tacos... Be glad you're a goose n a golf course."

“Taco Bell rolls out crispy chicken taco shells… Be glad you’re a goose on a golf course.”



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#PSL Season

Sep 02

"Because real women, use real pumpkin  in their pumpkin spice latte, that's why."

“Real pumpkin for real pumpkin spice lattes – That’s why.”



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#DWTS

Sep 02

“I've been slected to be on on the fall DWTS."

“I will also be competing this fall on Dancing With The Stars.”



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S&M not M&Ms

Sep 01

"I thought Fift y Shades Darker was about 70% Chocolate Bars?"

“I thought Fifty Shades Darker is about 70% Chocolate Bars.”



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#TravelTuesday

Sep 01

"We've reached the stage when eating  ice-cream on the beach has replaced drinking sex on the beach."

“We’ve reached the age where ice-cream on the beach has replaced sex on the beach.”



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Executive Decision

Sep 01

"Yahoo CEO's pregnant with twins but vows to take limited time off... Wonder what it's like to outsource your life?"

“Yahoo CEO’s pregnant with twins- vows limited time off… Wonder what it’s like to outsource your life?”



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HR Hell

Aug 31

"So, your hopes and dreams are just finding a job?"

“What was the best part of your career when you had one?”



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