Best Places to Retire?

Oct 22

"Venus is too hot, Jupiter's too gassy - and Earth is too crazy."

“Venus is too hot, Jupiter’s gassy, and Earth is too crazy.”



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Downward Dogged

Oct 19

"This dog treat entitles me to ten minutes of drool free yoga."

“This dog treat entitles me to 15 minutes of drool-free yoga.”



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Airport Screen Test

Oct 17

"They told me I didn't have a temperature and I'm not ovulating."

They told me I didn’t have a temperature and I’m not ovulating.”



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A-B-CDC

Oct 16

"Clipboard guy in a sea of hazmat suits... Really?"

“Clipboard guy with guys in hazmat suits; One of these things is not like the other.”



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Fortune 500 Teller

Oct 15

"I don't know about your family - but your stocks are sliding."

” Your stocks are sliding.”



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That Sinking Feeling

Oct 14

"Mona's reaction when there is no app for that."

“Mona discovers there’s no app for that.”



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Dog Stress

Oct 12

"Stop over-peeing me."

“Stop over-peeing me.”



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