“Grandpa, report card grades affect self-esteem and self-worth.
My school just has accountability apps.”

“Our kids are grown, out, working…
What’s a helicopter parent to do?”

“This  Thanksgiving – Let’s go camp out at Best Buy.”

“Sorry about the Thanksgiving thing… But, I have to start shopping!”

“Start by making that gagging  choking sound. Your people will jump off the couch, then you leap on and act like you’re sleeping.”

“We do have a sharing charge. So, if you tell me about your job,
your kids or your life- I gotta charge you five bucks.”

“My bucket list includes a topless shot sold to a tabloid.
I just added the crown for extra measure.”

“Granite counter tops?  As your Realtor, I’d advise you to go with shale.”

“Football is so much bigger on your new TV… Nice touch replacing the couch with a bleacher.

“An American Idol dream is nice…
But, AP American History is your reality.”