Time Out

"Let's me share Grandma's  feelings; no climbing on furniture, pick up your toys, and that's the only almond milk they had. If you're not happy, tweet your parents."
“Grandma’s now going to share her feelings;  No climbing on furniture, pick up your toys, and if my chicken nuggets are yucky don’t eat them.” 


"Your pressure is up. I'm recommended cooking shows and cartoons for the next month."
“Your pressure is way up. Until our next appointment – Only watch Animal Planet, HGTV and the FoodNetwork.”

Booth Banter

"As long as we don't talk politics, medical procedures, or which foods make you gassy - we're good."
“Which wine goes with no talking about politics or medical procedures?” 

Melts in Your Moo

“Not a fan of Skittles used as cattle feed -But M&M’s would be awesome.”
“Not a fan of Skittles used as cattle feed  – But M&M’s would be awesome.”

Hiring Freeze Pops

"Job Freezer Pops new flavors a)Longer Lines Lime b)Food Safety Strawberry c)Infrastructure Ripple  d)OMG Orange."
” Hiring Freeze Pop Flavors a)Iced Infrastructure b)Longer Lines Lime c)Not Inspected RazzleBerry.”

Monday Motivation

"The population of Wyoming is 585,501. The size of Gary's inbox had grown to 586,000 emails. Gary thought about quitting and moving to Wyoming."
“The population of Wyoming is 585,501. Gary’s inbox has 587,000 emails. He suddenly wants to quit and move to Wyoming.” 

Supporting the Team

"Gotta support the team."
“Proud of our daughters! Go Grandmas! Yay for wives, sisters, friends, neighbors…” 

Women’s March Matters

"No Sir, we're actually cat calling you to realize it's 2017, not 1917."
“No Sir, we’re cat calling you out…  It’s 2017, not 1917.” 


"To keep grizzly bears out of the classrooms... Fine by me, I hated calculus."
“Grizzly bears can determine school gun laws? Get to the part about school lunch laws.”

Free Press, Lotsa Stress

"Wonder how Lois Lane and Jimmy Olsen would cover him?"
“Over at the Daily Planet, Lois Lane, Clark Kent & Jimmy Olsen are also a tad wary.”