Category: retirement

Buh-Bye

"We're ending pension contributions for active employees, because that's what piggy banks are for."
“We’re ending pension contributions for all active employees. At the holiday party, we’ll hand out 15,000 piggy banks.” 


Afternoon Delight

"Yes, constant complaining is part of the normal aging process."
“Let’s clear out our expired vitamins,catch a matinee, and then try early bird tapas.”


Here, Not There

"It's not just retiring overseas - It's buying a fixer-upper when there's no Home Depots."
“I’m not a cozy fixer upper in a remote village with zero Home Depots kinda gal… Big nope to retiring overseas.” 


Dog Regrets

"I had the talent and smarts to be a drug sniffer... Instead, I'm an average butt sniffer."
“Back in the day I could a been a drug sniffer… Now, I’m just an old butt sniffer.”


Move-Stay-Scream

"The top ten places to retire last year is now the ten worst places to retire this year."
“The ten best places to retire last year -are now the ten worst places to live this year.”


Retired- Now What?!

"Learn the ukulele or something."
“Develop open source software or learn the ukulele or something.”


No Regrets

"Mona decides she loves t the F*ck You Fifties and is looking forward to the So What 60's."
“Mona’s 50’s have been so enlightening –  She’s looking forward to her Screw It 60’s.”


Wage & Age In-Equality

"We're Superheros doing the same superhero work - deserving the same superhero salary."
“Spider Man’s working on another sequel… While aging superheroes  with superpowers are ignored.”


Un-Retire

"That pina colada was good... Now what?"
“That pina colada was good… Now what?”


Drive Your Passion

"Tired of book clubs and luncheons, Sheila contemplates becoming a trucker."
“Bored with book club…  Sheila decides to become a long-haul trucker.”