Category: Pets

Claws Out

"If it were up to me, fine. But my cat has a problem with you."
“My cat’s in a mood. I’ll try and text you later.”


Zoom & Groom

"That moment your realize your dog is better groomed than you."
“That moment you realize the dog groomer does a better job than your salon.”


Secret Life of Pet Peeves

"And another thing, I hate you eating my food, I'm over your barking at anything with wheels and you have bad breath."
“Totally over you barking at everything with wheels. Your doggie breath stinks and Dude, I’m not into being chased daily on hardwood floors.”


Pet Slogans

"My litter is fresh and so are my ideas."
“My campaign rhetoric is as fresh as my litter…. Whaddya think?


National Pet Day

"It's a liver-cheese funfetti cake."
“Celebrating National Pet Day with a liver & cheese funfetti cake.”


National Pet Day

"It's National Pet Day... That means you're the designated driver."
“It’s National Pet Day… That means you’re the designated driver.”


Sleeping Dogs

" We're carnivores living with vegans and I'm fine with that."
” Last night I dreamed we were unprepared for the obedience school test.”


National Napping Day

"Today's National Nap Day, that means I get to nap on the couch and you go do you."
“Today’s National Napping Day, so I get the couch and you go do you somewhere else.”


Love Your Pet Day

"In 1981, Larry won his goldfish at the carnival; 33 years later, the fish looks better than Larry."
“In 1981, Larry won his goldfish at the carnival; 33 years later, the fish looks better than Larry.”


#LoveYourPetDay

"I'm totally over your cat videos on YouTube!"
“I’m totally over your cat videos on YouTube!”