Category: Cats

Claws Out

"If it were up to me, fine. But my cat has a problem with you."
“My cat’s in a mood. I’ll try and text you later.”

International Cat Day

"Time for a bathroom remodel."
“Time for a bathroom remodel.”

Rat Patrol

"The feral cats down the block just got hired in a warehouse to chase rats."
“Warehouses are using feral cats to catch rats. Back in our crazy kitten days, we were great mousers too.”

National Ice-Cream Day

"You're out of Cod & Cream? OK, I'll have a small cup of Liver Ripple."
“You’re out of Cod & Cream? OK, I’ll take a small cup of Liver Ripple.”

Cat Control


"Gloria's cat controls her weekend by using her head as a perch."
“Fluffy uses Gloria’s head as a perch. Gloria fully cooperates and spends the weekend in her chair.”

Secret Life of Pet Peeves

"And another thing, I hate you eating my food, I'm over your barking at anything with wheels and you have bad breath."
“Totally over you barking at everything with wheels. Your doggie breath stinks and Dude, I’m not into being chased daily on hardwood floors.”

Pet Slogans

"My litter is fresh and so are my ideas."
“My campaign rhetoric is as fresh as my litter…. Whaddya think?


"I've had a rough life - My parents were feral."
“I’ve had a rough life – My parents were feral.”

Bored Dogs

"Well, we killed the squeaker on all our toys - guess I'll have to chew on you for a bit."
“Well, we successfully killed all the squeaker toys in this house… They better get pet insurance for their cat.”


"I'm totally over your cat videos on YouTube!"
“I’m totally over your cat videos on YouTube!”