Category: career

Plan On It

"Let's plan on making better plans for our next planning sessions."
“Let’s plan on making better plans for our next planning session.”


Dog Performance Reviews

"Someone's been marking the conference room rug."
“Your composure during thunderstorms – tells us you view problems as opportunities.” 


Jobs Reporter

"Here's my final jobs report of the year - still don't have one."
Here’s my monthly jobs report – Still don’t have one.”


Work Life

 

"Let's just stick with cafeteria talk - Like what's the soup of the day."
“If they can stay on task without checking their phone, hire them.” 


Get Proactive

"Instead of trying to understand why people quit their jobs - We're just going to keep pretending everything is fine."
“Too many good workers are quitting. That’s why corporate wants us to intervene with cupcakes for all birthdays and service anniversaries.”


Debatable

"In Tech you don't find too many folks over 40. Over 50? Nope. Over 60? That's where you'll find the Presidential hopefuls."
“In Tech they avoid hiring folks over 40. Over 50? Nope. Over 60? That’s where you’ll find the Presidential hopefuls.”


Dress Coded

"The fact that we can wear cargo shorts to work is everything."
“No jeans,no khakis, just cargo shorts.”


Skills,Shmills

"Your year's of experience just age you."
“Honestly, your years of experience just age you.”


Helicopter Parents @ Work

"Now go ahead Jordan, ask Camille for a raise."
“He’s the most gifted and talented intern… That’s why my Zach deserves a raise.”